The "Book"

Attended another SHAPE class that a friend of mine teaches. She is so passionate about what she does. It's amazing to watch and listen. There was nothing "new" in the content of what she was talking about. The thing that resonated with me was her knowledge of the scriptures. Every second sentence had part of a scripture in it. She talked about it being a gift she had been given in her life. I recognize the gift in her. The scriptures seem to come to life to her - they are so personal to her. I also know these scriptures didn't come to her through osmosis. That touched a chord in me which hasn't been touched for some time and I suddenly found myself thinking... hmmm... maybe that's a book I should read...

I read and read and read. I must have over 100 books on my shelf, some half read, some completely read, and some not even started. I have a voracious appetite for books. But... in my search to find more knowledge, live more fully in God's kingdom, and strive to live authentically, I read everything I can get my hands on except I forget one important book. The bible. Now - I have a million thoughts on the bible, not all of them positive, and most certainly not all of them accurate. Honestly... I struggle to read it - even to open it. Most of my encounters with the bible have been through well-meaning people who have used the bible to try to legislate my behavior or inform me of a rule or two or 20 I have been breaking. It's not that these people have not been wanting my life to be God-filled. It's just I have walked away feeling like God created this rule book, and I just have never believed the bible was meant to be a rule book. Today - I was reminded that it's my problem if I let others influence how I see the bible. Rather than use that as an excuse, I need to dive into this God-story and experience it for myself. Ha - those sound like pretty impressive words. And.. I have been here before. Now would be the time when I decide - I know, a pretty new bible will compel me to read it more often. Ya - the last "pretty new bible" I purchased still sits on my bookshelf. Damn it looks good.

However, I think God must have brought me back to this place on this day because I am facing some life-changing decisions, and somehow I forget to turn to the one who loves me more than anyone in the world. The one who cares for me so much that He will be with me through all the ups and downs that are ahead on this journey. I tend to want to go it alone... be strong... don't be vulnerable...get over it... blah, blah. The one thing I don't do is look to the Source who can guide. And where can I look... aha... my pretty bible sitting on my bookshelf. I realize it isn't the only place I can go to get to know God... but at this point in my life I believe it is a time when I need to spend some time looking at just how much he does love me, and join in on the story I am a part of. I hear it's a great story.... and who knows... in my search to get to know this God who created me, I just may come away knowing myself a bit more.... we'll see....until the next time I decide I can do it on my own.

As I reread this last paragraph I get tripped up and think... what the heck does "guide" me mean, what does the bible have to tell me anyway, it's just my interpretation, again, blah blah. In truth... I haven't got a clue what to expect. What I do know is that I have not done such a hot job of doing it without His guidance and I know I will be back to this spot again and again. And something else I know for sure is I will continue to order my books from Amazon and McNally, glean more and more knowledge as I learn from others on this life journey, and talk and talk and talk with friends. Lucky friends!

My adventure with this much-debated, much hated, much misused, misinterpreted, misquoted, beautiful love story begins.... wish me luck.